How Did I Recover?

God’s grace comes without any action on our part. But we can miss it if we’re not an active participant!

BeautyBeyondBones

I’ve been sitting, staring at this blank page for about 2 hours now.

Granted, I’ve taken a few breaks to peruse Buzzfeed, watch a Korean makeup video, and get ready for bed, but let’s face it. I’ve got writer’s block.

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Which royally stinks.

So I’m going to go back to my roots here tonight. Return to why I started this blog in the first place.

Sometimes, when I think back to when I was in the throes of anorexia, it catches my breath. Thinking about all the ways I was ruled by this menacing dictator in my head: ED. Days were calculated to the minute. Choices and moments were heightened, inducing high stakes anxiety attacks. I was in the most extreme vortex of panic, all the time. About food. Exercise. Movement. Calories. Body image. Fear. Stress. Routines. Schedules. Secrecy.

I was trapped. A prisoner in my own disordered mind.

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