THE INNKEEPER. A MONOLGUE
Adapted from a script found at http://ep.yimg.com/ty/cdn/mainstay/CYALFDramas.pdf
What’s that Esther? You say that there is someone at the front door. Well, why wake me up? Why did you not just go and answer it yourself? Yes dear, you don’t have to get mad. Yes dear, I was just joking. Yes dear, I’ll go over to the window and see who it is.[audio http://www.buzzsprout.com/33052/336696-savior-of-the-world-born-here.mp3]
It is a very young woman; and she looks pregnant. I mean, talk about being great with child; she is as big as a house. And there is this man with her who looks almost old enough to be her father. Kind of puts the awk in awkward?
Hey, we’re all filled up, and we are closed for the night. Sorry, go away.
Give them our room, Esther? You must be joking. You are not joking. You are serious. There is no way we are going to give them our room. It has been a very busy day what with all the last minute shopping I’ve been getting done.
OK, I’ll go down; but I sure don’t feel like seeing any more customers at this hour of the night. Oh, I am not cranky. I just don’t feel very well. It must have been that order of supreme loaded nachos I ate before going to bed.
Oh, I know you told me; but they looked so good, covered with cheese and… What? Fine. I’ll go down and answer the door already.
Hang on just a minute. I am coming down to open up
STOMP. STOMP. STOMP.
Holy mother of God, I wish those kids would quit leaving their Legos on the front steps.
Good evening! Or is it morning? Whatever. Shalom. Man, you look like you have had a long journey. Where are you from? Nazareth. Nazareth? Can any good thing come from Nazareth? Sorry, I did not mean to give offence. I was just thinking out loud.
You say that your family was originally from Bethlehem, and that you have come back home because of the census. Take a number. This has been one busy day. And what are your names? Mary and Joseph. Mary, I think I remember your grandparents
And what do you call your donkey? Say again? Rudolph? That is a strange name for a donkey. But then I suppose that anything goes in Nazareth. Those Gentiles must take some getting used to.
You say some of them are more humble than some of our scribes and Pharisees. Yes, I could imagine that they are. But then humility was never very big in my books, anyway.
Well, I am sorry that we are all full. But if you want to use the hayloft in the parking lot to sleep, you are welcome to it. And my wife told me that she did not want me to charge you anything. They hayloft ain’t great but what the hay, you can’t beat the price, right?
Now, where are those Legos? I sure don’t want to meet them again on my way back up.
Esther, you say you can’t sleep, that you are getting up; that you want to help Joseph and Mary. I know you. Your curiosity gets the best of you sometimes. You can do whatever you want to do for Mary and Joseph. I am going to bed. I need my sleep.
Honey, could you please keep it down to a dull roar? Good grief, it is only the fifth hour? What is going on? You say Mary had a baby a few hours ago. Well, I am no prophet, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to make that call.
And you say that some shepherds came saying that they had seen angels. Well, if you believe that one, let me tell you about some beautiful property on a marsh down in Florida.
You really believe those shepherds, don’t you? I suggest that they were all probably, well, you know (signal drinking). After all, there is a reason for this season.
TWO DAYS LATER
I was talking to Joseph and Mary. They are really a nice couple. He sure looks much older than she, but they seem very happy together. They have decided to stay in Bethlehem for a while. They say that their child Jesus is to be the Savior of the world.
Maybe I should ask that carpenter fella to make me a sign for the inn. It could say: “The Savior of the world slept here”.
Nooooo….., I don’t think that would be exaggerating. (PAUSE) Well, if you think so, then at least we could say: The Savior of the world was born here. That might be even better.
Maybe Joseph will do it for nothing, to thank me for letting them sleep in the hay loft. You and I could make a bundle off the tourist trade alone!
Savior of the World born here! Yeah, that’s the ticket….!
Or maybe. Just maybe, we’ll celebrate that the Savior was born here. Just maybe, we’ll celebrate that Christ has come and we are the Innkeepers with a choice. A choice to welcome Christ into our homes so that Christ can go into the world. Just maybe we’re the ones to Bring Christ’s Love to Life.